Seamus McPoop

Sorry I've Been Neglecting The McPoop-o-sphere...

2005-11-26T14:27:00.000-10:00

hey all,

long time, no post. sorry. not having a computer sucks. anyway, all my stuff arrived not so safely (read: broken surfboard) in minnesota and is now waiting for me. ship the old jeep on monday.... then ship my sexy ass on friday. can't wait to see you al again! look-out lightrail, here i come.

other stuff that needs taken care of:
1) Neesie... pay your phone bill and give me a call.
2) did Dusty really go to the Bone Thugs-n-harmony concert last night? me thinks he did. somebody shake him violently.
3) see ya in a week!!!

2005-10-28T08:59:00.000-10:00

As previously discussed here... Mars will be in sight this weekend.

Heads up, planet-gazers: Mars close-up coming

LOS ANGELES - Mars is swinging by for a visit.
The Red Planet will pass unusually close to Earth this weekend, appearing as a yellow twinkle in the night sky.
Mars' latest rendezvous will not match its record-breaking approach in 2003, but more people will be able to see it because it will be visible above the horizon.
This pass will bring Mars a little more than 41 million miles away Saturday night, compared with 35 million miles in 2003. The two planets will not be this close again until 2018.
Mars will still seem small to the naked eye, and most back-yard telescopes will see a small, brilliant ball. Observers with more powerful instruments might be able to discern surface details.
The orbiting Hubble Space Telescope will be snapping pictures.
ASSOCIATED PRESS

WWJS?

2005-10-26T09:31:00.000-10:00

Where Would Jesus Surf?

Waimea Bay...

2005-10-26T09:25:00.000-10:00

Packing Up...

2005-10-18T20:12:00.000-10:00

Well... the movers come tomorrow to pack up all of my crap, and get it on a boat back to the mainland. Gonna live my last 42 days out of a suitcase (which isn't so bad... it'll kinda force me to get out and do some stuff). Anyway, my computer will be gone come mornin', so post might become a little infrequent for the next month and a half, but I'll still try to get a few updates knocked out while at work.

2005-10-18T17:58:00.000-10:00

First Swell Of The Winter...

2005-10-13T21:01:00.000-10:00

Sunset Beach...

Pipeline...

Vikings Throw Sex Party...

2005-10-12T14:28:00.000-10:00

Wow! No wonder they can't do a dang thing on the field this season... they are too worn out from the Lake Minnetonka 'Love Boat" cruises. Whoa, Freddie Smoot... welcome to the team, and thanks for inviting your friends. Crazy!

Diamond Head...

2005-10-09T13:12:00.000-10:00

It only took me 2 and 1/2 years to get around to it... but I finally decided to hike up Diamond Head this morning. Pic is from the top, Waikiki in the background.

The Little Brown Jug...

2005-10-08T18:52:00.000-10:00

Finally!!! It hasn't been since 1986 that the Little Brown Jug resided in Minnesota... and we took it from Michigan in their own house!

First 15 Footers Of The Season On Their way...

2005-10-08T17:17:00.000-10:00

Here we go... Surf forcast for Midweek shows a Northwest swell expected to hit on Wednesday bringing 15 ft+ faces with it. Check it out.

The Newest Hobby...

2005-10-08T00:15:00.000-10:00

Yep... that's right. My self-diagnosed ADD has kicked in again, and I have found a new hobby... the ukulele (or the midget guitar as I am fond of calling it). How long will this new fascination last? (Anyone who really knows me knows that I pick up new hobbies like Michael Jackson picks up toddlers). The betting pool is now open.

London has Good Taste In Music...

2005-10-07T07:35:00.000-10:00

My nephew says, "Listen To Bob Marley."

Jack Johnson ... "The Horizon Has Been Defeated"

2005-10-06T00:00:00.000-10:00

Video code provided by HotCodez.com

Guess Who's Baaaaackk....

2005-10-05T19:14:00.000-10:00

It didn't get much coverage out here in the Islands, but the NHL got back down to business today. Anyone go see the Wild beat up on the Flames?

My New Vehicle...

2005-10-02T18:33:00.000-10:00

Lil 7'2" tri-fin funboard to mess around on for the next couple of months...

Graphics on front and back...

The Golden Gophers Update...

2005-10-01T14:57:00.000-10:00

One word: TYPICAL.

Good Luck...

2005-09-27T10:11:00.000-10:00

GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YOU RUNNERS GEARING UP FOR THE TWINS CITIES MARATHON THIS WEEKEND!!! I'M SURE ALL OF YOUR DEDICATION AND DETERMINATION WILL PAY OFF ON SUNDAY!!!

Awesome Weekend...

2005-09-25T20:34:00.000-10:00

What a great weekend!!! Seriously spent three full days at the beach, and loved every minute of it. Friday I headed out to the windward side to check out the swell that was kicking up. Went to Makapu'u Beach and watched the surfers for a while, then headed over to 'Eternity Beach' (the beach scene in 'From Here to Eternity,' or more recently in '50 First Dates' when Sandler gets knocked out by the golf ball...) anyway, had the whole beach to myself! Kick Ass! Saturday, after the Golden Gophers' glorious victory, I went out to Kaena Point to take a nap on the beach. Best nap ever! That night, my friend Sarah and I went over near Chun's Reef for a picnic and to watch the sunset. Sunday... was supposed to go surfing with Sarah, but the party girl tied one on the night before, so I went snorkeling instead and followed with some sun at Pupukea. This weekend rocked!

2005-09-25T20:03:00.000-10:00

.... Riding Tropical Storm Jova's swell at Makapu'u

2005-09-25T20:01:00.000-10:00

.......... Eternity Beach .........

2005-09-25T20:00:00.000-10:00

....... Sunset at Chuns Reef .......

Go Gophers...

2005-09-24T12:59:00.000-10:00

How bout them Gophers!!! Finally, they didn't let it slip away (although they sure tried to). and what better day than on Homecoming! Kick Ass!!

It's Really Starting To Hurt...

2005-09-17T15:24:00.000-10:00

These were the prices today in Kuhuku, O'ahu...

The MP Ball...

2005-09-17T10:14:00.000-10:00

Last night was our yearly MP Ball. It was a pretty good time. The event took place at the Hawaiian Hilton in Waikiki. Good food, good drinks... pretty good time. The pic is of my co-worker Bo and myself.

WTF?!?!

2005-09-15T20:29:00.000-10:00

Oh... My...God! Grown Ass adults pretending to be vampires. Watch the trailer for the new docu "Night Gamers." Minnesota's finest, thats fer sure.

Tell Me This Ain't Fun...

2005-09-13T14:46:00.000-10:00

So... there is a new page up on the ole' intranet that lets ya search public criminal records for free. Check it out here. Don't think I didn't spend two hours searching each and every one of ya'lls names... cause i did!

The Big Move...

2005-09-12T21:40:00.000-10:00

Finally finished moving into my new barracks. I now live in the middle of a pineapple plantation. No, seriously, I'm surrounded by Dole's fields and fields of pineapple. I'm sure that the barracks I now live in were nice once... most likely during WWII! Definately a step backward. But, on the positive, it will be nice to live up here by the North Shore, especially as winter nears and the huge swells start to roll in. I'm only a few miles from Hale'iwa now, so thats nice as well.

Lucky To Live Aloha...

2005-09-11T19:00:00.000-10:00

2005-09-08T23:07:00.000-10:00

Check out this article from National Geographic (Oct 2004). One word: EERIE!

London's First Day of Kindergarten...

2005-09-06T18:31:00.000-10:00

Today was my nephew London's first day of school. He was pretty excited, as was his entire family. London rode the bus to school, found his new desk and got down to business. His main concern was that he would forget to order the popcorn chicken in the cafeteria (only concern is food... a man after my own heart). Anyway, at lunch his worst fears came true and he ordered a peanut butter and jelly, but said it was pretty good (he noted that it was the "square kind of sandwhich"... yeah.)

Labor Day...

2005-09-05T17:50:00.000-10:00

Had an awesome Labor Day. Got up early this morning and headed to the North Shore. My friend Sarah met me at Sharks Cove for some snorkeling, and then lunch at Cholo's. On the way to lunch I stopped to buy a new beach hat. The result: a new "Chinaman's Hat" (insert Big Lebowski quote here: Dude, Chinaman is not the prefered nomenclature. Asian-American, please). Anyway, it was a fun day. Weather was awesome, water was crystal clear. These are the days that I am reminded how lucky I am to live out here, and know that on some cold Minnesota night I'll wish I was on O'ahu.

Silver Man...

2005-09-05T15:52:00.000-10:00

Whenever anyone from work asks me "Whatever will you do when you get out of the Army?" -- 'cause, obviously I appear to be the type that is destined to sell every last drop of my plasma to put food in my stomach and stitches of clothing on my back-- I have a new answer... I will be the next "Silver Man." Can't you just see it now? Me in downtown Minneapolis, perhaps outside of Block E or Nicollet Mall, pop-locking for spare change! Imagine the buzz I'd get each and every night from sniffing the mettalic paint as I applied it to my entire body. OUTSTANDING! all of my furniture would have a permanent metallic sheen. AMAZING! Yeah... I call dibs on being Silver Guy!

2005-09-04T14:23:00.000-10:00

Watch Harry Connick Jr.'s tribute to his hometown, New Orleans.

2005-09-03T17:48:00.000-10:00

2005-09-03T10:13:00.000-10:00

Click HERE to donate to The Salvation Army's relief efforts in providing aid to the victims in the Gulf Coast states.

A $100 donation to The Salvation Army will feed a family of four for two days, provide two cases of drinking water and one household clean-up kit, containing brooms, mops, buckets, and cleaning supplies

Washington D.C....

2005-08-31T15:34:00.000-10:00

Just got back a little bit ago from Washington D.C. The memorial service for the COL was very nice and well attended. While at Arlington, we also got the chance to see the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and The Eternal Flame. As we were in Class A uniforms, many tourists came up to thank us for our service and to have their pictures tsken with us. That was neat.

2005-08-31T15:33:00.000-10:00

More pictures of the Washington D.C. trip up in FLICKr

Dear Honda Owners...

2005-08-29T00:01:00.000-10:00

Dear Honda owners,

I don't want to race you.

That's right, I'm un-interested in trying to challenge you and your faux supercar in a drag race between stoplights downtown. I don't know why you all feel the need to glare at me while the light is red. You don't have to change your grip on the steering wheel like its a pair of motorcycle handlebars, either. You especially don't need to rev your four-cylinder with its loud exhaust system because you might tempt me to want to race you. I don't.

What really gets me, though, is with the abundance of similarly craptastic hondas out there, why do you want to race me? The way I figure it, you want to race everything in sight. My Jeep has less than 200 horsepower and the aerodynamics of a barn. However, I suppose the near-verticle air dam which is my windshield isn't neccesarily discouraging to someone who puts a god-damn wing on the back of a front wheel drive car. More downforce for the rear wheels then, eh? That way you can accelerate faster, right? Great work, dipshit.

But seriously. I don't get it. I don't ask you to go drive trails with me. I don't wave and say 'lets go haul ass through a mud pit'. Sure, I spend about as much time off pavement as you do on the track, but at least I can tell the difference between a race car and a 4x4. Does my Jeep look like a challenge or something? Do you and your honda friends get together and say 'Dood! I just beat that Jeep with the big tires and low gears! I'm so fast!'

The way I figure it, your car sucks so much, you can't beat any of the other Hondas, and sure as hell don't want to admit defeat. Instead of buying a genuinely fast car, you choose to get your rocks off racing easy vehicles in your piece of shit. Way to go, badass! I'm proud of you! Why don't we get together and beat up some kids later. I'll let you sucker punch a baby. It will be hard core.

Seriously, though. Please, please, the next time you see me, or any other non-challenging vehicle at a light, don't antagonize them and encourage them to 'race.' Instead, pull your head our of your ass, and realize that your hatchback is probably faster than a minivan, delivery truck, recreational vehicle, bicycle, u-haul, and other similar underpowered non/aerodynamic vehicles. Oh, and don't forget, you're probably faster than me, too.

Go play some more Gran Turismo, and quit being a jackass.

Thank you.

as found on craig's list. author unknown.

Little League World Series Champs...

2005-08-28T12:29:00.000-10:00

How 'bout those Little Leaguers from the West O'ahu team? Congrats to the 12 year olds from Ewa Beach on their championship!

The Potato Update...

2005-08-28T11:25:00.000-10:00

Pedro asked for it, and Pedro's getting it... An Official Bonsai Potato Update. "What's going on with the Zen Potato?" you might ask. Well, absolutely nothing. Have to admit, I am kind of dissapointed in the growth and Zen-like nature of my russet. Oh well, I'll give her a couple more weeks to improve before she is cremated.

LCD Soundsystem... "Daft Punk Is Playing In My House, My House"

2005-08-25T21:37:00.000-10:00

Video code provided by HotCodez.com

My Army Man-Wife...

2005-08-24T21:21:00.000-10:00

On Sunday evening there was a knock upon my door. I opened to find Benny standing there, complete with Army issued duffel bag and uniform in hand. "I'm moving in," he stated, and immediately began to unpack. "I'll get you a sleeping bag and pillow," I said. "No need," came the reply, "I brought sheets."

Benny has moved into the extra bed in my.... ummm, sorry... "our" barracks room. He claims that my side of the room is too messy, while I piont out that he leaves his crap everywhere in "no man's land" (the center of the room). Apparently we now share my tv, my clothes, etc. He is only up here for a week, though, then he moves out and heads back down to Ft. Shafter. Thank God!!!

Double Digit Midget...

2005-08-23T06:11:00.000-10:00

Today, I become a "Double Digit Midget." That is, I have 99 days left in the Army and then I get to (finally) come home! On Thursday I get a copy of my orders, after which I can start making appointments for out-processing. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!

Tourettes Guy... (click the pic)

2005-08-21T07:13:00.000-10:00

The Climb to Puu Mai...

2005-08-20T13:42:00.000-10:00

Nothing like a nice, relaxing Saturday morning. A few friends and I decided to take the climb to the top of KokoHead, to Puu Mai. We took the route up the old railroad ties that now stand as 1,106 "stairs" to the top. One word: exhausting. Check out my hawaii foto blog for more pics.

The Bonsai Potato...

2005-08-16T20:06:00.000-10:00

Hells yeah! Ya'll better start calling me Mr. Miyagi cause I'm deep in this Bonsai game. Started cultivating my Bonsai Potato about 10 days ago. She's a russet, and a fine specimen at that. I'll keep ya updated on the progress as I get my Zen on.

Ben Folds... "Landed"

2005-08-13T18:01:00.000-10:00

Video code provided by HotCodez.com

South Korean Man Dies After 50 Hour Computer Gaming Marathon...

2005-08-11T20:05:00.000-10:00

I never realized how close to death I came as a child. Swear to God I used to play PONG on the old Atari for the entire weekend- solid. Read the story here.

Mike Tyson and Jenna Jamison...

2005-08-07T02:30:00.000-10:00

Oh.... My..... God!!! Mike Tyson has found a new low to sink to... PORN! Apparently, Iron Mike says he has been approached by Jenna Jamison's people to make a film woth the porn starlette.

From the New York Daily News:

Mike Tyson might be turning from his fists to another body part to make a living.
The former champ says he's been approached by reps for porn star Jenna Jameson to co-star in a X-rated movie.
The free-spending pugilist, who was pummeled recently by the tax man, says he told Jameson's people, "I need the money up front."
Boxing writer Pedro Fernandez recalled in Zoo magazine that, "according to court documentation from Tyson's rape trial, his member is at least 14 inches long. If Tyson brings out some of the ferocity that made him a champion, he could definitely become a successful porn star."
The muscleman has been spending this week on the beaches of Saint-Tropez with some shapely ladies. Maybe he's in training.

One word: WOW!

***Revisit the Iron Mike quotes just for old times sake!***

Godspeed Pedro, Godspeed...

2005-08-06T19:17:00.000-10:00

Pedro on the Harp

Best of luck to Pedro (aka P.Diddy, P. Dizzle, P. Drizzle, 'Dro, The Midget Samoan, Bruddah P) as he moves on to Ft. Carson, Colorado. Most disturbing is that P will now lose " da kine powers" he has known in Hawaii, and will be, as he puts it, "Just another Mexican in Colorado."

The R. Kelly Urban Operetta...

2005-08-02T19:46:00.000-10:00

Holy Crap! R. Kelly-- yes, he of the pissing on minors and videotaping it fame-- has released an "urban operetta" entitled "Trapped in the Closet." Check it out...

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5

2005-08-01T22:12:00.000-10:00

2005-07-31T11:25:00.000-10:00

Dodge at My Old Kentucky Blog has put up a post featuring three of Minneapolis' best local acts right now... Vicious Vicious, The (Olympic) Hopefuls, who just got served papers by the US Olympic Committee and were told they had to drop "olympic" from their name- damn copyrights!-- and Kid Dakota. Check it out...

The Dog...

2005-07-28T21:37:00.000-10:00

So... I decided to run over to Border's in Waikele this evening (no easy feat due to the Jeep's Death Wobble), and who did I see coming out of Jamba Juice? None other than the mullet wearing bounty hunter himself: Duane 'The Dog' Chapman. And, yes, he looks just as ridiculous in real life. This man is the epitome of celebrity for no apparent reason. I don't know how many of you have watched the show, but he gets way too preachy on the guys he apprehends. Plus... he and his crew wear these drop leg holsters made for 9mm hand-guns... but all they are allowed to carry is mace. God, that bugs me for some reason.
Anyway... "Yo, Dog!" I yell. "Eh, Bruddah... try no yell," he responds. And thus, I rubbed shoulders with celebrity (all be it really greasy, kinda stinky, definately in need of a VO5 treatment shoulders).

A Lil' Doughty for that Ass...

2005-07-26T18:03:00.000-10:00

Since some of you keep calling to remind me that I missed seeing Mike Doughty for free at the Aquatennial in dntwn MPLS, here is a track to shut ya up for a few minutes. Besides, we have great bands out here all the time... like "The Capt. and Tenielle"... ooooh, and "Alien Ant Farm" next week. (note the sarcasm).

Mike Doughty ... "St. Louise Is Listening" (mp3)

An Open Letter to Axl Rose...

2005-07-23T10:08:00.000-10:00

As found on McSweeney's ...

Attention, Mr. Axl Rose:We Did Not Feel Welcome in the Jungle.

Street Music...

2005-07-22T10:38:00.000-10:00

Star Trib brings us snippets of some of the least heralded members of the Twin Cities' music scene...

check it out here

The Dude Abides...

2005-07-19T22:47:00.000-10:00

Thats right, kids... this weekend is Lebowski Fest 2005. Break out the bowling balls and make your self a "Caucasian" (read: white russian). If you have no idea what this is about, you desperately need to make a run to Blockbuster...now!... do not pass GO!

DEATH WOBBLE...

2005-07-17T18:40:00.000-10:00

Now... anyone who knows me, knows that I love my Jeep. We have a good relationship: I understand that some days she will be slow and sluggish, and she forgives me for using the cheap gas most of the time, and dropping empty soda bottles onto her floor boards. But, over the past few weeks, I've built up a lot of hate in my heart for my precious love... and I want a divorce!

You see, we've had some troubling times lately. I keep throwing money at her and buying her gifts (new sway bar links and bushings, a whole new front break system to include rotors, calipers, pads and steel lines). Still, she rejects me. All she does is throw the "DEATH WOBBLE" in my face... and it hurts.

"DEATH WOBBLE" is pretty easy to describe: it feels like the whole front end of your car is trying to rip itself apart from the rest of the vehicle. The tires jump and move like they are break dancing, the steering wheel shakes so violently that it feels like it wants to come off in your hands. The only way to end the "Death Wobble" is to slow down to a crawl. It sucks!

So, seeing as I have put in the new sway bar links and redone the front brake system, I think that the next stop is a new trac bar and a steering stabilizer. Hope that works... otherwise its off to the dealership for me, and a new home for my baby.

For more on "Death Wobble" look here... and here... and here...

Music Will Make It All Better...

2005-07-17T18:13:00.000-10:00

"Bohemian Rhapsody" (Queen cover)... The Flaming Lips (buy it here)

"Hustle and Flow (It Ain't Over)" ... Terrence Howard (buy it here)

"Float On" (Modest Mouse cover) ... Ben Lee THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!

"Monkey" ... Low (buy it here) Kickin' ass from Duluth, MN.

Bringin' It Back One Mo' Time...

2005-07-14T22:39:00.000-10:00

Seeing as she is in MPLS/STP for the filming of "Prarie Home Companion," i figured I would bring this one back out for another spin....

The Lohan Freestyle (aka Big Ass Titties)... ***Warning-- Most Likely Not Work Appropriate... Unless You Have A Truly Kick Ass Boss****

2005-07-14T22:27:00.000-10:00

Some great MP3's up at Copy, Right? ... my favorite of which has to be Mickey Harte's version of "I Don't Want You Back." Can't stop listening to it! Check it out... always great covers at Copy, Right?!

Mickey Harte- "I Don't Want You Back" (Eamon cover)

The Pictures - "Milkshake" (Kellis cover)

UN-FRIGGIN'-BELIEVABLE...

2005-07-11T17:45:00.000-10:00

...AND 1 FRIGGIN' MORON (me)

thanks to Casey for settin me straight...

***Lies and conspiracy theories removed to save me from further embarrassment***

2005-07-07T22:06:00.000-10:00

Yer Boy Dusty Droppin' That Science...

2005-07-07T21:29:00.000-10:00

Dust sent me this email today... thought it was pretty interesting. Not gonna totally geek out and buy a telescope tomorrow, or anything, but it would be neat to see.

Subject: THE RED PLANET
The Red Planet is about to be spectacular! This month and next, Earth is catching up with Mars in an encounter that will culminate in the closest approach between the two planets in recorded history. The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287. Due to the way Jupiter's gravity tugs on Mars and perturbs its orbit, astronomers can only be certain that Mars has not come this close to Earth in the Last 5,000 years, but it may be as long as 60,000 years before it happens again. The encounter will culminate on August 27th when Mars comes to within 34,649,589 miles of Earth and will be (next to the moon) the brightest object in the night sky. It will attain a magnitude of -2.9 and will appear 25.11 arc seconds wide. At a modest 75-power magnification Mars will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye. Mars will be easy to spot. At the beginning of August it will rise in the east at 10 pm and reach its azimuth at about 3 am. By the end of August when the two planets are closest, Mars will rise at nightfall and reach its highest point in the sky at 12:30 am. That's pretty convenient to see something that no human being has seen in recorded history. So, mark your calendar at the beginning of August to see Mars grow progressively brighter and brighter throughout the month. Share this with your children, grandchildren and friends. NO ONE ALIVE TODAY WILL EVER SEE THIS AGAIN

Happy 4th of July...

2005-07-04T01:24:00.000-10:00

Hope everyone has a fun, and safe, 4th of July!!!

Play FREEBIRD!!!!

2005-07-04T01:16:00.000-10:00

Don't be jealous that I will be spending my 4th of July rockin' out with Lynyrd Skynyrd. Thats right, the surving original members (outnumbered, of course, by the replacements) are bringing their roadshow to Oahu for the holiday. So what if its only about 1/3 of the original band... it beets a Skynyrd cover band any day of the week. Can't wait for "Gimme Three Steps," "Sweet Home," and, it goes without saying, "Freebird."

Here is Bayfest Hawaii's web-site if yer interested in checking it out.

150 Days to Go...

2005-07-03T15:31:00.000-10:00

That's right, reached another milestone today... 150 days until I return to MPLS! Im sure some day, when I'm freezing my butt off in February I'll wonder why I was ever so anxious to leave Hawaii... but for now, I can't wait. So, this leaves me about 5 months to get all of the surfing, snorkeling and beach time in that I can get.

Mitches, congrats on the new house. I am excited to see it in person (but the photos look great). Dusty, tell Sue I said god job on finally making an honest man out of Rhino... thats awesome for those guys. Everyone else... have a fantastic 4th of July. Drink lots, be safe, and don't set off any M80's in your hand!

Benny's Theories on Life...

2005-07-01T15:08:00.000-10:00

Got an email from my good buddy Benny Fox (aka Foxxy) today. He later noted that he was typing so frantically that there were many "typos" in his narrative, however I nearly pissed myself I was laughing so hard when I read it. Here is an excerpt from his new mission statement... watch out Jerry McGuire, there is a new memo in town...

Well man It has been some time since I have heard from you. Just checking to make sure your still kicking. Well I rounding the final stretch of mess I have got myself into. 14 more months go. And I have a plan oh yes sir I have a plan, going back to school, not NGCSU but somewhere gonna finish my degree in accounting. That much of my plan is certain after that theres a little grey area, Im gonna go ahead and call that grey area "life.” Oh I have come to a realization! Our 20s are the new mid-life crisis. I think about this all the time, I have no real clue where Im going in life and growing up you, when i say you i mean me and most everyone, assume were gonna do something great; cure cancer, be the next 5 star general, be the heir to hilton fortune, something but now I realize the end is inevitable, and by the end i mean working 40 hours a week in a job we hate going home to house full of misfits caused by our fucked up seed and mentoring, taking family vacations to disney land. Why I ask you because we are the .01% that all men fear, we are survivers. But I refuse, yes sir i said refuse, that the greatest accomplishment I can take credit for is finding my way thru a "unpregnantable" latex barrier. So I have to ask you what does it all mean, and how do people find there calling, is it hidden under some rock somewhere, is there some great scavenger hunt you get on your 30th birthday, or should i keep my cell phone on me at all times waiting for my "calling"..... Just a thought put to paper sir thats all. Also I have an intresting story for you, I was in the bathroom at an airport and I sat down on the shiter and i happened to glance to my right, I noticed writing on the partition of course, and I read some, I learned a lot about mankind that day, first of all who takes a sharpee to the craper with them, is that somthing that should go on the shopping list, milk, eggs, bread, cereal, and oh yeah a sharpee so i can finally get all that random stuff out of my mind while using a public shitter. Then I read some poems and I thoughts what the fuck is this I mean yeah I guess sometimes poems just come to you head while relieving yourself. But then what, what if its really good do you take partition to your publisher and say read this its good, the one right below the shitty finger print. And finally the mystery of all ages what is it about a public toilet that makes people want to express there racism, I hate niggers, I hate Jews, I mean really what is it, Well I was having a particularly witty day so I reached into my pocket and pulled out my sharpee(of course). And I decided the next person to sit down could at least have a laugh so I wrote the first thing that came to mind "I hate diabetics". So Id like to leave you with that!

Perpetually Fucked!
Foxxy

Toothpaste for Dinner...

2005-06-29T22:01:00.000-10:00

2005-06-29T22:00:00.001-10:00

I Think He Raided Dusty's Closet...

2005-06-22T20:41:00.000-10:00

Just watch this video... the hell are you people doing back in Minnesota?

Oh Shit, Son... We Made The News...

2005-06-18T01:10:00.000-10:00

My chest swells with pride. My unit, The 39th MP DET (or "Dirty 9th" as we like to call it) has made the news. "Good job, boys," you might be saying. But, please hold your praise. Alas, in the great tradition laid forth by Rodney King, the ugly words "police brutality" are once again being thrown about. Watch the video and decide for yourself...

Gotta Love the Effin' Internet...

2005-06-15T22:12:00.000-10:00

Only a guy without a real job (did I mention I'm a chauffer) would have time to sit around all day (but I never drive anywhere) and look at this stupid shit. Check it out...

Uberstud... "I'm So Hot"
Live Nude Cats
Crying, While Eating
Design Without Reach

I'm outta here...

2005-06-14T22:50:00.000-10:00

"I want to throw down your kid and stomp on his testicles..."

2005-06-14T22:26:00.000-10:00

Mike Tyson Quotes From Throughout The Years

"I try to catch him right on the tip of the nose, because I try to push the bone into the brain."

"How dare these boxers challenge me with their primitive skills? It makes me angry. They're just as good as dead."

[To a female reporter] "It's no doubt I am going to win this fight and I feel confident about winning this fight. I normally don't do interviews with women unless I fornicate with them. So you shouldn't talk anymore... Unless you want to, you know."

"My power is discombobulatingly devastating, I could feel his muscle tissues collapse under my force. It's ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm."

“He called me a ‘rapist’ and a ‘recluse.’ I’m not a recluse.”

"I paid a worker at New York's zoo to re-open it just for me and Robin. When we got to the gorilla cage there was 1 big silverback gorilla there just bullying all the other gorillas. They were so powerful but their eyes were like an innocent infant. I offered the attendant $10,000 to open the cage and let smash that silverback's snotbox! He declined."

"Lennox Lewis, I'm coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!"

"One morning I woke up and found my favorite pigeon, Julius, had died. I was devastated and was gonna use his crate as my stickball bat to honor him. I left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something and I returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher. I rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right hand. He was out cold, convulsing on the floor like an infantile retard."

"My main objective is to be professional but to kill him."

"I want to rip out his heart and feed it to him. I want to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children."

"You got nothing coming, man. I'm going to enjoy this fight."

After biting Holyfield: "This is my career. I have children to raise. I have to retaliate. He butted me. Look at me. My kids will be scared of me."

Also after biting Holyfield: "I felt Holyfield was using his head illegally. I told the referee I wasn't getting any help, so I went back to the streets. I cannot defend it, but it happened."

"You're sweet. I'm going to make sure you kiss me good with those big lips. I'm gonna make you my girlfriend."

On Tyrell Biggs' complaining about low blows "Low blows? Low blows? Huh! Motherf**ker you're fittin' to die!"

"He was screaming like my wife."

"All praise is to Allah, I'll fight any man, any animal, if Jesus were here I'd fight him too."

"I could have knocked him out in the third round but I wanted to do it slowly, so he would remember this night for a long time."

"Anyone with a grain of sense would know that if I punched my wife I would rip her head off. It's all lies. I have never laid a finger on her."

"There are nine million people who see me in the ring and hate my guts. Most of them are white. That's okay. Just spell my name right."

"When you see me smash somebody's skull, you enjoy it."

"You have to understand, Frank Bruno would not have been champion if I had not been in prison. Oliver McCall would not have been champion if I had not been in prison. A lot of these guys would not have been champion. Michael Moorer would not have been champion. Those guys would not have been champion if I had been around. They would have had no legacy. None of those guys would have had a legacy. I would have been in shape. I would have been active. Holyfield, those guys wouldn't have been champion when I was around, but I went away for four or five years inactive and that made them competitive for a time."

"Everyone in boxing probably makes out well except for the fighter. He's the only one that's on Skid Row most of the time; he's the only one that everybody just leaves when he loses his mind. He sometimes goes insane, he sometimes goes on the bottle, because it's a highly intensive pressure sport that allows people to just lose it."

"But you really have to look at the science of the situation. You guys come here to talk and report but you don't actually look at the facts of what this business is all about. The best thing that happened to those guys and they should stand on their mother's shoulders and kiss my ass because I went to prison or they would not be existing right now. They'd be a flash in the pan and would have made some money and opened up a restaurant or bar somewhere where they live at."

"It's interesting that you put me in the league with those illustrious fighters [Muhammad Ali, Joe Louis, Jack Johnson], but I've proved since my career I've surpassed them as far my popularity. I'm the biggest fighter in the history of the sport. If you don't believe it, check the cash register."

"Without discipline, no matter how good you are, you are nothing! One day, and I might not be around; you're going to meet a tough guy who takes your best shot. He'll keep coming because he's tough. Don't get discouraged. That's when the discipline comes in."

"I just want them to keep bringing guys on and I'm going to strip them of their health. I bring pain, a lot of pain."

"No one gives a f**k about me. No one cares if my children starve, if they're on welfare. I have to support my children. I need more money."

"I never saw my mother happy with me and proud of me for doing something: She only knew me as being a wild kid running the streets, coming home with new clothes that she knew I didn't pay for. I never got a chance to talk to her or know about her. Professionally, it has no effect, but it's crushing emotionally and personally."

“I want to throw down your kid and stomp on his testicles, and then you will know what it is like to experience waking up everyday as me. And only then will you feel my pain.”

"People [are] going to say what they say. It has to be for a reason. It's just for a reason. I know sometimes I say things; I offend people. I ask this lady a lewd question because I'm in a lot of pain too. I have some pain I'm gonna have for the rest of my life. And Lewis, I'm trying to give some of that pain to ya'll."

"You gentlemen have no idea what it's like to be myself, no idea what it's like. I'm not interested in being humiliated anymore."

"Sometimes you guys have no pride, so no matter what I say, you guys ... it doesn't affect you because you don't care about nothing but money. So every now and then I kick your fucking ass and stomp on you and put some kind of pain and inflict some of the pain on you because you deserve to feel the pain that I feel."

"If I take this camera and put it in your face for 20 years, I don't know what you might be. You might be a homosexual if I put that camera on you since you were 13 years old. I've been on that camera since I was 13 years old."

"I feel like sometimes that I was born, that I'm not meant for this society because everyone here is a fucking hypocrite. Everybody says they believe in God but they don't do God's work. Everybody counteracts what God is really about. If Jesus was here, do you think Jesus would show me any love? Do you think Jesus would love me? I'm a Muslim, but do you think Jesus would love me ... I think Jesus would have a drink with me and discuss ... why you acting like that? Now, he would be cool. He would talk to me. No Christian ever did that and said in the name of Jesus even ... They'd throw me in jail and write bad articles about me and then go to church on Sunday and say Jesus is a wonderful man and he's coming back to save us. But they don't understand that when he comes back, that these crazy greedy capitalistic men are gonna kill him again."

"I'm a man. I lived it and I'm not afraid to die but when I die I'm going to paradise and I'm not worried."

"The one thing I know, everyone respects the true person and everyone's not true with themselves. All of these people who are heroes, these guys who have been lily white and clean all their lives, if they went through what I went through, they would commit suicide. They don't have the heart that I have. I've lived places they can't defecate in."

"I'm not Mother Teresa... but I'm also not Charles Manson!"

"Fear is your best friend or your worst enemy. It's like fire. If you can control it, it can cook for you; it can heat your house. If you can't control it, it will burn everything around you and destroy you. If you can control your fear, it makes you more alert, like a deer coming across the lawn."

"I'm just like you. I enjoy the forbidden fruits in life, too. I think it's un-American not to go out with a woman, not to be with a beautiful woman, not to get my dick sucked ... It's just what I said before, everybody in this country is a big fucking liar. The media tells people ... that this person did this and this person did that and then we find out that we're just human and we find out that Michael Jordan cheats on his wife just like everybody else and that we all cheat on our fucking wife in one way or another either emotionally, physically, or sexually, or... one way."

"There's no one perfect. We're always gonna do that. Jimmy Swaggart is lascivious, Mike Tyson is lascivious -- but we're not criminally, at least I'm not, criminally lascivious. You know what I mean. I may like to fornicate more than other people -- it's just who I am. I sacrifice so much of my life, can I at least get laid? I mean, I been robbed of most of my money, can I at least get blown without the people wanting to harass me and wanting to throw me in jail?"

"At times, I come across as crude or crass, that irritates you when I come across like a Neanderthal or a babbling idiot at times. But I like to be that person. I like to show you all that person because that's who you come to see."

"I'm the most irresponsible person in the world. The reason I'm like that is because, at 21, you all gave me $50 or $100 million, and I didn't know what to do. I'm from the ghetto. I don't know how to act. One day I'm in a dope house robbing somebody. The next thing I know, 'You're the heavyweight champion of the world.' ... Who am I? What am I? I don't even know who I am. I'm just a dumb child. I'm being abused. I'm being robbed by lawyers. I think I have more money than I do. I'm just a dumb pugnacious fool. I'm just a fool who thinks I'm someone. And you tell me I should be responsible?"

"I don't know if I'm mentally sick, but I have... episodes sometimes. I'm a depressant kind of dude. I have episodes, and I'm human. But no one cares about my health as a human because sometimes I'm in my episodes when I'm at work."

"Well, contemplating suicide goes through everyone's mind, I'm sure. And if it doesn't I really must be crazy. Everyone thinks about that because sometimes, you know what I mean, it's just tough being a nigger and it's tough being a bad nigger."

"I don't react to a tragic happening any more. I took so many bad things as a kid and some people think I don't care about anything. It's just too hard for me to get emotional. I can't cry no more."

"I'm on the Zoloft to keep me from killing y'all."

"I'm just a dark guy from a den of iniquity. A dark shadowy figure from the bowels of iniquity. I wish I could be Mike who gets an endorsement deal. But you can't make a lie and a truth go together. This country wasn't built on moral fiber. This country was built on rape, slavery, murder, degradation and affiliation with crime."

"I really dig Hannibal. Hannibal had real guts. He rode elephants into Cartilage."

"I can sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating."

"I have some pain I'm gonna have for the rest of my life. So every now and then I kick your fucking ass."

"I just want to conquer people and their souls."

"I guess I'm gonna fade into Bolivian."

video of IRON MIKE back in the day...

Happy Birthday, Dusty Dust!!!

2005-06-13T09:12:00.000-10:00

Oh shit son... Dusty Dust turns 27 today. Happy B-Day, buddy!!

2005-06-10T23:58:00.000-10:00

2005-06-10T23:30:00.000-10:00

Well, well, well... City Pages has given us their take on Minnesota's Fifty Greatest Hits. Some pretty good stuff listed here. How tough is it to narrow it down to Husker Du or The Replacement's best. I was really happy to see Mark Mallman's "Kissing the Knife" listed... had forgotten how much I really like this song. Download it for free from Mallman's web-site here. Besides the obvious snub of everyone's favorites, Wayside (big ups Mitchell), what do ya'll think of the list?

The Big Cat's Final Hours of Freedom...

2005-06-09T22:09:00.000-10:00

On Saturday, Ryan Delaney--yes that Delaney, aka Heavy D, aka The Bed Pisser-- will be wed in holy matrimony. God Save The Queen! Never thought this day would ever come. Your assignments: Dusty-- try and outdrink Chuck Delaney. Miller-- try to keep Dusty from putting on an impromptu strip show. Delaney-- remember to put on the depends BEFORE going to bed. Congrats Heavy D!!!

2005-06-05T10:18:00.000-10:00

Go See This Band!!!

2005-06-05T10:16:00.000-10:00

I've been trying to tell ya'll, and now the time has come... GO SEE THE HOLD STEADY THIS WEEK!!! They are playing today (Sunday) at Grand Old Day and Monday night at First Ave. You will not be disappointed. I'm effing jealous as hell that you even get the chance to check 'em out... no bands worth seeing ever seem to make it all the way out here. So, long story short, go and do yourself a favor and check out The Hold Steady... and buy the new album, it rocks (and has more mentions of spots around the Twin Cities than any other album I can think of... repping hard for MSP/STP).

Rob and Anna's Vacation to the Big Island...

2005-05-28T23:20:00.000-10:00

So... Anna came out for another visit. This time we decided to head over to the Big Island and check some of the sites there. We stayed inside of Volcano National Park at the Kilauea Military Camp. It was really nice. We had our own cabin with a fire place n stuff. Good times! We hiked out about 3 miles over rough lava fields to see molten lava spill into the ocean... it was amazing! Prolly the coolest natural wonder I've come across. The black sand beach was pretty rad as well. Turns out its a haven for nudists. One question, why are there never any hot nudists? Just crazy old men and chubby women... what gives?! Check out the pics of our vacation below.

...and the funs begins. Anna makes it to Hawaii!

2005-05-28T23:18:00.002-10:00

2005-05-28T23:18:00.001-10:00

Waikiki Beach

2005-05-28T23:18:00.000-10:00

Diamond Head

2005-05-28T23:17:00.000-10:00

BBQ!!! You will listen to the Grill Sergeant!

2005-05-28T23:16:00.001-10:00

2005-05-28T23:16:00.000-10:00

Waiemea Bay, North Shore Oahu

2005-05-28T23:15:00.001-10:00

Anna getting attacked by a tree.

2005-05-28T23:15:00.000-10:00

Went snorkeling at Shark's Cove, chased a ginormous sea turtle around... awesome! The sunburn, however, sucked!

2005-05-28T23:13:00.002-10:00

Shark's Cove, North Shore

2005-05-28T23:13:00.001-10:00

Shark's Cove

2005-05-28T23:13:00.000-10:00

2005-05-28T23:12:00.002-10:00

Let the sunshine!

2005-05-28T23:12:00.001-10:00

2005-05-28T23:12:00.000-10:00

The line up in Waikiki... surf 1-2 ft and clean conditions

2005-05-28T23:11:00.001-10:00

Steam vents...

2005-05-28T23:11:00.000-10:00

After getting a facial from the steam vent. A little later I saw the sign that said the vapors could be fatal and not to stick yer mugg in them...oops!